How to release what no longer serves you - the resentment, anger, fear, grief, hurt, and the stress that comes with living life
Welcome to the Health Is PowHer Podcast Episode 38!
I'm Dr. Anna Esparham, MD and the goal of today’s episode is to build upon the framework of true wellbeing.
While nutrition, exercise, sleep hygiene, vitamins and supplements are all important, this is about the genuine foundation of healing.
And this comes from connecting with our true, authentic selves, trusting ourselves, and being the real essential you that you were gifted with - that is unique to you and no one else.
When our emotional or energetic bodies are holding on to fear, anger, resentment, hurt, grief, unworthiness, scarcity, our physical bodies become affected because of the concept “Like calls to Like”.
We attract our reality through our thoughts and our beliefs and how we feel about ourselves. This is some kind of psychoneurobiophysiology where our thoughts, our imagination can create our reality.
I’m certified in clinical hypnosis and use this daily for myself but also teach many of my patients in clinic to use it on their own specifically for pain.
Hypnosis is a mind-body therapy that is absolutely wonderful to peel away the emotional layers in the body that has led to the persistence of the pain in the first place.
Guided imagery, creative visualization or hypnosis are very similar in their techniques.
Think of high performing athletes who you see on top of the mountain before their ski run performing their “downhill run” in their mind’s eye, but they’re actually physically moving their body in a trance like state...It’s weird to see for sure, but it works and what's even cooler is that research studies have shown that it works!
Remember when we were children (as long as it wasn’t a traumatic childhood) and we felt so free, energetic, happy, loved and we didn’t internalize all the stressors, responsibilities, hurts, traumas, breakups, difficult jobs into our bodies to deal with later.
You can imagine that we felt much “cleaner, purer, lighter” as a child than we do now. We didn’t carry all that weight on our shoulders.
All this stuff that we experience in life - the harshness of it and the grief that we’ve all experienced lodges itself internally some place in our physical body stores.
And in order to feel better, to have more energy, we have to peel these emotional/mental/energetic layers away in order to finally get to the true you, the energetic you, the essential loving happy self that is you.
That’s always been your right. To be happy, loved, energetic, healthy, and vibrant!
It is incredibly hard to deal with the stress as it comes each day b/c we are so incredibly busy at dealing with life itself (we sort of put ourselves on the back burner and wait to deal with it).
Or we might procrastinate on feeling the hurt, pain, grief and store it in our bodies because it is hard - so very hard - to feel that way.
We might have to make a change, a choice that we don’t want to make it, that we’ve been at war with ourselves over.
My Story:
I remember being so incredibly sick with fatigue and weight loss and just that malaise feeling - like a walking zombie when I was dating someone that sort of sucked the life out of me. And here I am trying to make it work at my own expense...
I sort of stuffed that deep inner knowing deep...deep down and let it percolate into physical health issues - beeping at me - the alarm going off - trying to tell me to let go.
And our authentic self, our spirit, whatever that higher power of yourself is you can call it what you want, and a higher power greater than us that we’re connected to sends you messages you all the time.
Mine came in a song that was about needing to break up before you wreck yourself. And that’s when I knew.
It just hit me - like it was speaking to me- just for me. And I heard the message.
And after I almost felt like dying as these strange illnesses kept getting worse, I finally broke up with him. And I finally healed. And I kept gaining more strength and energy I always should have had!
There are Messages All Around Us
Dreams are also your own subconscious, your higher self, your spirit speaking to you. If you can’t remember them, that’s okay, there are so many other subtle messages in our bodies and in our lives - an animal that walks into your path that represents something like an owl and intuitive wisdom, or a deer with incredible grace to bring you. A movie that tugs at you. A song like my story. All of these have some sort of underlying meaning if we pay attention.
So if you wake up, maybe the first thing to do is try and remember one little bit of your dream and hold on to it, write it down, look it up.
Relax, surrender to the message and begin to ask what it’s trying to tell you.
I remember being at war with myself over a career I truly wasn't passionate about. I kept dreaming of being trapped in these buildings trying to escape. My subconscious or spirit was trying to tell me to break through my own limitations I placed on myself. My own should of staying at this job, being what other people wanted me to be for them. Instead of just being who I am, my true authentic self.
There are 3 ways to look at what’s holding you back or what’s clogging you up so that you don’t feel as good as you want to.
And I discussed these in our 2021 Optimal Wellbeing Facebook Live Challenge that aired January 11th thru the 14th, but you can still watch the recordings just can’t win the prizes if you go to FAcebook and ask to join 2021 Optimal Wellbeing Challenge. You can watch the videos day 1 thru 4 and look at the inspiring resources we all provided in our facebook group.
Our energy blocks -holding on to this limiting belief of not allowing ourselves to truly be who we were meant to be. I’m not talking about doing something great - just being.
The limitations we surround ourselves with likely due to fear and risks and worry and anxiety and not allowing life just to flow and let go and learn from all the mistakes, adventures, and problems of being alive in this world, being human.
Not releasing the grief and pain that comes with life - things we’ve just stuffed back down to deal with life itself, work hard, make money, take care of our children, family, dinner, responsibilities, and of course putting ourselves last or not wanting to participate in our own care for fear of what’s going to come bubbling up and hence, we’ll need to deal with all that emotional pain or make truly hard decisions to change the way we’re feeling or the situation we are in that doesn’t quite resonate with the truest you.
When we finally delve within, connect with our true authentic self, we can discover our inner desires and needs and wants.
- much like that of a child when making crafts, painting, or writing in your diary, or playing sports just lit you up and you were invincible - all that energy, that glow, that spirit that just was there for you.
And we can still feel that way. We just have a little bit to peel away to connect with our essential self. The self that is spirited and not regimented or trying to please others, or doing what others want of them instead of what the spirit wants.
The beginning of healing is to become aware of where your energy is going.
What are you making yourself available for in terms of health and energy? What health issues have you been so focused on? Fatigue, stress, anger, burnout, illness, pain?
It’s time to really uncover the feelings, the message behind these symptoms - the deep underneath drive that leads you to have some of these concerns - whether it be constant anxiety, smoking, fatigue, addiction, sleep issues, not wanting to work out, overeating, undereating, i mean anything you can think of that you no longer want for yourself.
If you want any of those by all means have them, that is your right. But if you don’t, then it’s time to surrender.
Peel away what no longer is serving you for the better - unravel the pain, the grief, the hurt, the anger. Let go of what is holding you back from your true potential from trusting yourself again. From living an abundant life.
If anyone has read Melody Beattie “The Language of Letting Go”, it is absolutely wonderful - In one of her March 14th meditations she talks about “Trusting Ourselves” again.
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